January 20, 2001 / 25 Tevet 5761; Issue #300

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Email@Withheld wrote:

Dear Email@Withheld,

You and I have a lot in common. I am also Jewish. I also had a brit, (but not a pidyon haben -- redemption of the first born -- my parents only did that for my older brother). I was also bar-mitzvah at age 13.

Like you, I also don't think of myself as "Orthodox" (although most people would call me that); rather, I think of myself as a Jew who tries to observe the Torah which G-d gave us. But, like you, I often succumb to the inexorable onslaught of human failings -- laziness, desire, convenience, etc.

You wrote that you occasionally speak improper words. Did you know that more than one-third of the Yom Kippur penitential prayers are devoted to asking G-d to forgive us for sins committed through speech? Regarding proper thoughts, King David prayed: "Create within me a pure heart, G-d."

The bottom line: Everyone fails. Nobody is perfect.

So, I think my answer to your question should be evident by now. Any mitzvot which you perform are certainly praiseworthy and should be encouraged. (Obviously, a mitzvah shouldn't be done at the expense of a transgression. Examples: Friday night after sunset, lighting Shabbat candles is no longer a mitzvah but rather a transgression. The same goes for driving to synagogue. In such a case, the way to express your Jewish identity is to stay home!) Furthermore, your deeds can influence others, without you even knowing it; for example a Jewish friend may stop eating pork because of your example. Or, he may simply tell another person "I have a friend who doesn't eat pork," and that third party, who you may never even meet, may decide to re-think his own level of observance.

There is a danger of being "Jewish Lite," however: It could furnish you with a feeling of being "comfortable" with your observance level. That should never happen to anyone. We all need to continually strive to grow, study and learn more and more about the Torah. Therefore, you should feel happy about the Jewish things that you do, but you shouldn't think of yourself as being at a fixed level of observance. Realize that you can add, if even just one mitzvah a year. Example: Get a tzeddaka (charity) box in your house and put in a coin (even a small one) every day (except Shabbat and Holidays). Perhaps the most important thing for you now is to study Torah on a daily, or at least weekly, basis. If you tell me where you live I can try to suggest some possible study partners for you.

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LAST WE ASKED: "I am eating, and at this point I would be required to say two brachot acharonot (after-blessings) when I will have finished. I now take a nibble of another food. Now I only need to say one bracha acharona! What have I eaten?"

ANSWER: I have eaten a piece of cake and an apple (or foods with similar halachot), making me obligated to say "al hamichiyah" and "borei nefashot." I then eat a single grape. Now "al hamichiya" will include "al ha'eitz"... which also covers the apple!