July 22, 2000 / 19 Tammuz 5760; Issue #282

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Dear Zev Schwartz,

Isn't all mindless activity performed with a clear conscience?

What I mean is, life is like a business. A good businessman carefully takes inventory, buying more of the hot movers and chucking the duds. In life, too, we should weigh each activity as to its benefits and drawbacks.

Does reading this book benefit you? If it relaxes you, that's a benefit. If it strengthens your bond with your kids because you read it to them, that's a benefit.

But if it wastes your time, that's a drawback. If it weakens your bond with your kids, because you hide in your room and read it instead of spending time with them, that's a drawback. Every activity has the "opportunity cost" of what you could have done instead.

So, while there's no specific prohibition against "wizard" stories, the question is how much time, if any, to spend on them?

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Dear Name@Withheld,

This is a tough one. And since it is a financial issue that involves others, it requires a real live Rabbi to hear both sides I can just give you basic guidelines based on your side of the story: (In my answer, I will assume that you were not yet legally committed by implied contract or industry standard.)

The Talmud says: "Your YES should be righteous," meaning that a person should stand by his word.

The Shulchan Aruch rules that one who breaks a verbal agreement in a business transaction -- even if the deal has not been legally concluded -- is considered unfaithful and "out of favor" with the Sages.

So, for example, let's say I'm selling you my car, and we agree on a certain price. As you begin writing out the check, someone comes along and offers me more money. It would be unscrupulous for me to cancel my deal with you and to sell it to the newcomer, even if legally I am able to do so.

Now, your case appears to differ from a standard "business transaction." You aren't selling a car. Rather, you're "selling" your talent and creativity. According to your description, you agreed to take on the project thinking you would be able to put your creative talents to it, but later you realized that you don't have it in you. This is more like agreeing to sell someone a car which you later realize you don't own. In such a case, backing out isn't as much a lack of faith as a mistake made in the beginning.

So, if you think you can do a good job without harming the client's interest, you should reconsider in order to uphold your word. But if you can't, you can't. I'm sure you will make apologies to the appropriate parties, as well as a commitment to exercise more care in future agreements.

In the song at the end of the Pesach Seder we describe the significance of the numbers from one to thirteen as they relate to Jewish life and thought. "Three are the fathers, Four are the Mothers...12 are the Tribes of Israel..." What about the next 13 numbers? And after those? What significance do they have in Jewish tradition?

Here are some reader responses:

18 is the amount of time it takes to turn matza dough into chametz (leaven).

Mazal Zirkind

19 is the number of years in a Jewish calendar cycle.

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ROTFLOL (Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud)!!! I am sorry but I had to write and tell you how you made me laugh on a stressful day, thank u....I see you are addicted to mitzvot...so be it with us all! Shalom U'brachot!

I know people who are so given to Torah study that they can't stop during davening (prayer time). The halachic works say you're not supposed to do that. That could be an addiction. We used to call it the "frumer yetzer hara."

In "Getting Up When You're Down," Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski M.D. (available at Artscroll.COM) notes that among religiously observant people, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) can often involve "religious" rituals. He cites the case of a woman who went to absurd lengths to keep her house clean of "chometz" (leaven) for Passover by refusing to allow any bread in the house all year round. Rabbi Twerski writes that OCD requires treatment; people who give counsel to others must be aware that there may be emotional disorders of a medical nature which require treatment!

Re: YOU ARE THERE:

Ohr Somayach, thank you for being there!! I very much look forward to your email.