The Human Side of the Story

For the week ending 24 November 2012 / 9 Kislev 5773

The Importance of Seeking Advice

by Rabbi Mendel Weinbach zt'l
Library Library Library

The 24-year old boy studying in a yeshiva in Israel was anxious to get started on shidduchim since almost everyone of his peers was already married. His only obstacle was an older brother back in the States who was still unmarried.

His high hopes for a breakthrough in the situation through a shidduch in which his brother was involved were dashed when a call came from home that once again nothing had come of this attempt to find a marriage partner. He then began to seriously consider passing up his brother despite the pain this might cause him. When he finally decided to do so he phoned his parents to inform them. His father’s reaction was to inquire whether he had asked a rosh yeshiva’s advice on the matter. Although he was absolutely confident that he would receive confirmation of his decision, he consented to immediately seek his advice.

Since his own rosh yeshiva was officiating at a wedding out of town and he was anxious to fulfill his promise to his father, he decided to consult the head of a yeshiva not far away from his own. After hearing his situation the rosh yeshiva said it was permissible for him to pass up his brother but also asked him for some details about that brother’s personality and what type of girl he was looking for. Upon hearing his description the rosh yeshiva told him that he knew a family in the States whose daughter would be an ideal match and gave him their telephone number.

The happy ending was that the older brother became engaged to that girl and our hero’s problem was solved by heeding his father’s advice to seek advice.

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