Sheva Brachot (Part 8)
A husband and wife are one soul, separated only through their descent to this world. When they are married, they are reunited again.
Zohar HaKadosh
The sixth of the Sheva Brachot is: Gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your creature in Gan [the Garden] Eden from times of yore. Blessed are you, Hashem, Who gladdens Chattan and Kallah.
As with the previous blessing our blessing opens with words that repeat themselves – “Sameach tesamach”. And, just as before, the repetition is for emphasis. On their creation, there was no couple more joyful and content than Adam and Chavah. We therefore bless the Chattan and Kallah that they should experience the same level of intense joy that Adam and Chavah did.
What made Adam and Chavah’s joy so deep and powerful?
One answer that is offered is that, being the very first Chattan and Kallah in world history, they had no one else to compare themselves to. It did not enter their mind that they may have married the wrong person, or that someone else’s spouse was superior to theirs. Adam and Chavah perceived with absolute clarity that their union was perfect.
Thus, the essence of our blessing is that the Chattan and Kallah live their lives together knowing that they were meant for each other; that, just like Adam and Chavah, they should build their home in a state of absolute joy – without comparing their marriage to anyone else’s.
I once had the privilege to hear the legendary Rosh Yeshivah of Ateret Yisrael, Rabbi Baruch Mordechai Ezrachi (1929-2023), speak at a Sheva Brachot. He asked why our blessing mentions Gan Eden. What, he pondered, is the connection between Gan Eden and marriage? As anticipated, he gave one of his signature thought-provoking and brilliant answers:
Our Sages teach that when Hashem brought Adam to Gan Eden it was not yet finished; all its potential was extant but unrealized. Everything lay dormant for Adam to begin the process of cultivation so that all the potential could flourish into a true Gan Eden. Marriage, said Rabbi Ezrachi, is just like Gan Eden. All its potential is extant, waiting for the Chattan and Kallah to turn it into a veritable Gan Eden through their hard work. And as they grow together and strive to build their marriage, the Gan Eden that they create develops and flourishes together with them. It takes a lot of continuous work, but for most couples it is an attainable goal.
Rabbi Aryeh Levine (1885-1969) universally known as the “Tzaddik of Yerushalayim” was famous for his constant concern for the poor and sick. He would visit anyone who needed assistance even if they were suffering from a dangerous or a contagious ailment. Together with that, he was also dubbed the “Father of the Prisoners” because of his continual support and visits to the Jewish prisoners during the British Mandate in Jerusalem’s Central Prison in the Russian Compound. He loved the prisoners unreservedly, offering them comfort and hope and never judging them. And the prisoners loved him wholeheartedly in return. His empathy and caring for every Jew was extraordinary.
However, it was the bond he shared with his wife that, perhaps, most exemplified his purity of spirit: As the famous story goes, he once accompanied his wife to the doctor. When the doctor asked what the problem was, Rabbi Levine, with complete sincerity, answered: “My wife’s leg is hurting us.”
A person could think to themselves that our blessing is unrealistic in suggesting that a “regular” couple nowadays could possibly reach the joyful level of Adam and Chavah’s union in Gan Eden. But according to Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz (Sichot Mussar, 5732), there is nothing ridiculous or bombastic about the idea at all. Our blessing, he explains, is a tefillah in which we appeal to Hashem that the Chattan and Kallah reach a level of marital perfection akin to that of Adam and Chavah’s in Gan Eden; and one of the purposes of Tefillah is to help us strive towards perfection. Our blessing urges the Chattan and Kallah to utilize their relationship with Hashem to stretch beyond themselves and aspire to reach the highest levels.
To be continued…
