Ethics

For the week ending 24 March 2007 / 5 Nisan 5767

Virtual Participation

by Rabbi Mendel Weinbach zt'l
The Color of HeavenArtscroll
Question: Although I try to attend the weddings of friends and neighbors I sometimes receive an invitation to a faraway out-of-town wedding. I have no possibility of attending such a simcha but don't wish to hurt the feelings of those who invited me. What is the right thing to do?

Answer: The right thing to do is to drop a short note to the inviters wishing them Mazal Tov, explaining your difficulty in physically participating in the wedding but assuring them that you will be celebrating in spirit.

You will be surprised how much such a note received before the chatuna ceremony adds to the joy of the family to which it is sent. It serves as a confirmation of your relationship and warms the heart of those who are nervously preparing for the big day.

A token gift accompanying such a note is not essential but certainly will achieve an even greater measure of virtual participation in the wedding.

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