Ethics

For the week ending 14 February 2004 / 22 Shevat 5764

The Long Wait

by Rabbi Mendel Weinbach zt'l
The Color of HeavenArtscroll

Question: Is it right for a chatan and kalla to take such a long time in the yichud room following the chuppa while so many guests are anxiously waiting to dance with them in celebration of their wedding?

Answer: While the time spent in yichud satisfies both a halachic requirement and an emotional need for the start of a marriage there is no good reason why the wedding guests should be kept waiting for so long.

The usual explanation points an accusing finger at the photographers who insist on taking pictures of the new couple before their appearance becomes disheveled in the dancing. One solution to this problem would be to take individual shots of the chatan and kalla before the chuppa so that less time has to be spent on turning the yichud room into a photo studio.

Even more important, however, is the need to impress upon the young couple the absurdity of forcing guests who came to share a wedding feast with them to wait for their appearance when the meal is almost over.

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