Top 10 Goals of Jewish Outreach Organizations

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Ohr Somayach's Top Ten

Goals of Jewish Outreach Organizations

To have the Pope change to a blue and white knitted kippa

To be mekarev Elizabeth Taylor and employ her to lecture on shalom bayit

To be asked to set up an educational program at the Club Med on the Cayman Islands (all expenses paid)

To have a beginner's service written and produced by Andrew Lloyd Webber

To be mekarev Calvin Klein and have him design exclusive yarmulkas and tallitot for the yeshiva

To be respected by the students of Ponevezh, Mir and Brisk

To be respected by the students of Harvard, Oxford and Cambridge

To be the first organization to run an outreach seminar in Williamsburg (and live to tell the tale)

To be loved by all (especially by philanthropists)

To have all students able to correctly pronounce the Hebrew letter "chet"

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