Top 10 Goals of Jewish Outreach Organizations
- To have the Pope change to a blue and white knitted kippa
- To be mekarev Elizabeth Taylor and employ her to lecture on shalom bayit
- To be asked to set up an educational program at the Club Med on the Cayman Islands (all expenses paid)
- To have a beginner's service written and produced by Andrew Lloyd Webber
- To be mekarev Calvin Klein and have him design exclusive yarmulkas and tallitot for the yeshiva
- To be respected by the students of Ponevezh, Mir and Brisk
- To be respected by the students of Harvard, Oxford and Cambridge
- To be the first organization to run an outreach seminar in Williamsburg (and live to tell the tale)
- To be loved by all (especially by philanthropists)
- To have all students able to correctly pronounce the Hebrew letter "chet"
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