
21 November 1998; Issue #214
Contents
Email@Withheld wrote:
Dear Rabbi,
Our family has a kid-related problem every Shabbat.
It starts out great with family activities together and with
my husband and I taking turns with the kids, aged 9 and 3. But
I suffer from a painful chronic illness that requires rest. By
about 2 o'clock on Saturday afternoon I am exhausted and need
about 3 to 4 hours sleep. My husband finds it difficult to keep
the kids occupied for this amount of time with acceptable Shabbat
activities such as books, blocks, and playing in the yard or going
for walks. At most, this amuses the kids for an hour or two.
There are no other Shabbat observant families nearby and we cannot
afford a baby-sitter. Do you have any ideas to help us with shalom
bayit (household tranquillity) under these circumstances? My
husband suggested that we turn on a small TV in an out-of-the-way
spot before Shabbat and that we let the kids watch without changing
the channel during the time that is difficult for him. But somehow
this doesn't strike me as kosher.
Dear Email@Withheld,
I sympathize with you in what sounds like a difficult
situation. And I agree that letting your children watch TV on
Shabbat is "not kosher," as you wrote. The analogy
may sound harsh but if your children were a little hungry you
wouldn't feed them non-kosher food. Shabbat is soul "food"
and shouldn't tainted, even if your kids are a little bored.
But what to do? As a parent, my experience is that
children don't need to be entertained every moment of the day.
Perhaps your husband is spending too much energy in trying to
keep your children entertained. I think they would entertain
themselves if he also had a rest. I realize that your children's
ages are too disparate to allow them to really play together,
but, nevertheless, children have a tremendous talent to adapt
themselves to different situations.
Try to think creative solutions. Offer your nine-year
old a special prize or privilege for "baby-sitting"
the three-year old for an hour or so. Keep favorite toys and
books separate and make them available on Shabbat afternoon when
you want to nap.
May Hashem grant you a complete recovery, and may
your children be a source of constant joy to you and to all the
Jewish People.
Contents
Email@Withheld wrote:
Dear Rabbi,
Is it halachically permissible for a man to marry
the daughter of his mother's husband from a previous marriage?
Dear Email@Withheld,
Marriage between a step-brother and a step-sister
is permitted, and such is accepted practice. The Chafetz Chaim,
Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, married his mother's husband's daughter.
I personally know a couple like this who have been happily wed
for the past 30 years.
According to Tzava'at Rabbi Yehudah Hechasid
step-siblings should not marry. However, this ruling seems not
to have been accepted even by those who generally adhere to the
other rulings of Tzava'at Rabbi Yehudah Hechasid.
Sources:
- Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 15:11
- Sefer Shmirat Haguf v'Hanefesh 178
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Helen Block wrote:
Dear Rabbi,
I am intrigued by the age-old use of kemiot (amulets),
particularly ones with the human hand. Apparently the Persian
Jews especially used to employ quite a variety of kemiot for protection
in marriage, childbirth etc. What is the halachic and rabbinical
positions on these?
Dear Helen Block,
Amulets or kemiot are mentioned in the Talmud
in many places and are not forbidden as superstitious. The amulets
mentioned in the Talmud were parchments with prayers in them written
by pious scholars, and they are like continuous prayers. An amulet
which is just a symbol or hand, while not forbidden, does not
have the same impact. Nevertheless they can serve to remind a
person of Divine Protection and Providence (the 'Hand of G-d')
and to focus on G-d. As Maimonides states in the Guide for the
Perplexed, "The degree of Divine Providence is directly proportional
to the degree of attachment of the person to the Divine."
It's said that the towering sage Rabbi Akiva Eiger
once wrote a very effective amulet. Curious about what mystical
letter permutations or Kabbalistic incantations lay within, someone
opened the scroll. What did he find? A single paragraph of Tosefos's
logical, straightforward commentary to the Talmud! The amulet
was "powered" simply by the merit of Rabbi Eiger's sincere
Torah study.
Contents
R. Berzack wrote:
Dear Rabbi,
I'd like to know the details of the commandment
of the bedtime shema regarding women's obligation. I've heard
that you are not allowed to talk after you have said it, is this
true? And what about reading a book afterwards?
Dear R. Berzack,
Women should recite shema and the hamapil
blessing immediately before retiring at night. Married women
customarily say the blessing with their hair covered.
One shouldn't interrupt between the hamapil blessing
and sleeping. Therefore, one should not eat, drink, or talk after
saying hamapil. Some even have the custom to omit hampil
altogether, or they say it but omit G-d's Name and the phrase
"King of the universe," out of concern that they will
converse afterwards.
If one says the bedtime shema and then has
difficulty sleeping, he should keep repeating the first paragraph
of the shema or other supplicatory verses until sleep overtakes
him. Thinking Torah thoughts is also permitted, so reading a
sefer, a book of Torah thoughts, is okay.
Rav Yehuda Segal, the late Rosh Yeshiva in Manchester,
used to actually fall asleep while reciting the bedtime shema,
and he would wake from time to time and carry on exactly from
the place he left off!
Sources:
- Shulchan Aruch 239:1
- Mishna Berura, ibid. 4,7
- Halichos Bas Yisrael 2:40, Rabbi Y.Y. Fuchs
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Saul "The Maven" Caplan wrote:
Dear Rabbi,
In the Reform High Holiday services we repeat
several times that it is not the death of sinners that G-d wants,
but that they should turn away from their unholy ways (this may
be part of the Orthodox and/or Conservative services, too). Is
there any scriptural basis for that statement, or is it just part
of the prayer writers' rhetoric? If there is scriptural basis,
it seems to me that it would be a good rebuttal to those who claim
that capital punishment is Biblically mandated.
Dear Saul "The Maven" Caplan,
The phrase you mentioned is from a verse in Yechezkel
(Eziekiel 33:11). In context, this passage doesn't contradict
the Biblical death penalty but rather supports it.
Here's the context: In the previous verses (7-10)
G-d tells the Prophet Yechezkel to warn the wicked people to repent
or die; if Yechezkel fails to warn them then he will be blamed
for their death, but if he does warn them, then their death will
be their fault. Why? Because "I don't desire the death
of the wicked person; but rather that he return from his ways
and live." That is, the death penalty is not that G-d wants
revenge, but rather it is a warning to repent before it's
too late. (This shows the danger of taking an isolated verse
without studying the context.)
The Biblical death penalty is mentioned explicitly
several times throughout the Torah, however it was very rarely
performed (less than once every 70 years).
Sources:
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Last week we asked: Twin
brothers are born from the same mother on the very same morning.
Both are perfectly healthy. Yet, the proper day for one's brit
mila is 8 days later, while the proper day for the other one's
brit mila is not until the 9th day. Why?
Answer: The babies are
born Shabbat morning. The first one is a normal birth, and the
second one is born by cesarean section.
Brit mila on the eight day from birth supersedes
Shabbat. However, this is only true of a natural birth. Brit
mila after a cesarean section does not supersede Shabbat.
Hence, the first baby has his brit eight days later, on
Shabbat, while the second one must wait till the ninth day from
birth, Sunday.
Source:
- Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 266:10
The Public Domain
Comments, quibbles, and reactions concerning previous "Ask-the-Rabbi"
features.
Contents
Re: Internet New Under the Sun? (Ask the Rabbi #211):
In a recent Ask the Rabbi, a reader, Gaon wrote:
"What on earth was the wisest of the wise thinking
when he said, 'There's nothing new under the sun?' I wonder if
King Solomon would have said the same thing if he had had Internet
access."
The Netziv (Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin) was
once asked this question: How could Koheles write that there's
nothing new under the sun, when we have such new creations as
the phonograph, electricity, and the telescope?
The Netziv answered that their potential existed
ever since the time of Creation, but were only revealed in modern
times. So, you see, even Gaon's question isn't new! The Netziv
also goes on to give Torah Sources for the use of a telescope
(Tractate Eruvin 43b), a lightning rod (Tosefta Shabbos 7:10),
and a phonograph (Mechilta Parshas Yisro 18:19). Rabbi David
Koppelman writes this story about the Netziv in his excellent
book, Glimpses of Greatness.
Re: Sherlox:
Please publish a Sherlox book.
Re: Vegetarians (Torah Weekly, Parshas Noach):
Your wrote that before Noach everyone was vegetarian,
yet in Gemara Sanhedrin 59b it says that Adam ate meat. Also,
the Tosefos on 56b clearly points out that people were allowed
to eat an animal that dies of its own accord. Were people really
vegetarians before Noach?
Ohrnet responds:
The Talmud implies that Adam ate heavenly meat roasted
for him by the angels in the Garden of Eden, whereas our article
was post-Eden. Regarding animals that died on their own, while
they may not have been strictly forbidden, being that the ancients
understood the spiritual cleanliness and uncleanliness imparted
by food, we assume that at least the righteous people (everybody
who's anybody) avoided such meat.
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