The Human Side of the Story

For the week ending 12 June 2010 / 29 Sivan 5770

Drop the Suggestion!

by Rabbi Mendel Weinbach zt'l
The Color of HeavenArtscroll

In his new book about his grandfather, Rabbi Eliezer Shach, zatzal, Rabbi Asher Bergman tells the story of a question which was put before this great Torah leader by one of his devoted followers:

"I have received a suggestion of a shidduch for my daughter," he said. "My investigations have convinced me that he is a serious, G-d fearing young man of good character. My only concern is that he has made three conditions for considering the match, all of them demanding a rather extreme level of religious observance which may be too much for my daughter."

"Drop the suggestion!" was the categorical response of the sage who went on to thus explain his objection:

"The conditions the young man made for a higher standard of religious life are quite praiseworthy. But if you are looking for an intelligent yeshiva student for your daughter, this one is not very smart at all. The things he would like to see in his marriage can only be achieved through considerate discussion with his soul-mate. Marriage is not a business transaction which requires making such conditions!"

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